(This post was written on Oct 19, 2010, I forgot to post it till now).
Zoe is in a power struggle with me over potty training and I am losing. I realized this evening that she is resistant to potty training. This resistance might have started because we started too early (she was not ready and thus saw it as something she cannot easily accomplish), or pressured her too much, or the incentive method (with offerings of chocolate and jelly beans) we used was in fact detrimental to one of her temperament. Whatever. The fact of the matter now is that she is physiologically ready (she knows when her bm is coming and can control herself till she has "privacy" to deposit it into her diaper), she knows what she is supposed to do, but she refuse to do it. This afternoon, she pooped into her underwear. I asked her why she didn't go use the potty and her reply was a petulant "because I don't want to." I was so frustrated by her answer I started to weep. Part of me suspect that she did it just so that I would give up and put her back into diapers. Frustration turned into anger later when she clearly had to pee but held it in even though she was sitting on the potty. Compounding my own frustration is my inability to just let it go. I made her sit on it a bit too long and then was immediately racked with guilt over the pressure I exerted on her. Naturally, I had to give in in the end (more frustration). I put Zoe back into her pull-up diapers. I think I spent a good hour crying over it in the end.
Zoe knew she was in the dog house with me. First she pretended nothing was wrong. Then, later, after spending a good time staying away from me, she came to me. after I told her that I was very sad and disappointed that she wouldn't try, and that since she does not want to use her potties, I would like to give them away to some child who wants to be potty trained but whose parents can't afford such nice potties (we bought three different ones in hope that one would spark some interest), and that she can keep her diapers, she said she does not want her potties given away.
I'm really not sure what to do. I think I have to retreat, and I know that all children learn to potty at some point, I just hope Zoe doesn't take too much longer. I don't know what to do.