Zoe looking so serene in the beautiful hanbok Grandma and Grandpa got her
Three Generations of Kims
Us, under our beautiful tree
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Family Portrait
Zoe looking so serene in the beautiful hanbok Grandma and Grandpa got herThree Generations of Kims
Us, under our beautiful treeTuesday, August 26, 2008
Birthday!
Hours Before Zoe ArrivedEven mom and dad has come a long way. We are frazzled less frequently. We even seem to know what we are doing on some days! These days, I can breastfeed on the fly. It used to be that I needed all kinds of props. Breastfeeding pillows, stools... you name it.
We are really looking forward to celebrating baby's first birthday and our second year with her.
Here We Are TodayPrayer for a Child
This is a very pretty prayer written by Rachel Field.
Bless this milk and bless this bread.
Bless this soft and waiting bed
Where I presently shall be
Wrapped in sweet security.
Through the darkness, through the night
Let no danger come to fright
My sleep till morning once again
Beckons at the window pane.
Bless the toys whose shapes I know,
The shoes that take me to and fro
Up and down and everywhere.
Bless my little painted chair.
Bless the lamplight, bless the fire,
Bless the hands that never tire
In their loving care of me.
Bless my friends and family.
Bless my Father and my Mother
And keep us close to one another.
Bless other children, far and near,
And keep them safe and free from fear.
So let me sleep and let me wake
In peace and health, for Jesus' sake.
Amen.
Bless this milk and bless this bread.
Bless this soft and waiting bed
Where I presently shall be
Wrapped in sweet security.
Through the darkness, through the night
Let no danger come to fright
My sleep till morning once again
Beckons at the window pane.
Bless the toys whose shapes I know,
The shoes that take me to and fro
Up and down and everywhere.
Bless my little painted chair.
Bless the lamplight, bless the fire,
Bless the hands that never tire
In their loving care of me.
Bless my friends and family.
Bless my Father and my Mother
And keep us close to one another.
Bless other children, far and near,
And keep them safe and free from fear.
So let me sleep and let me wake
In peace and health, for Jesus' sake.
Amen.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Walter
Walter was my sister's fiance. Until last weekend, at the probable time of his death, their relationship was 16 years long. Eight years as an engaged couple (he proposed soon after they met) and eight years as a former couple who tried many times to fix the broken pieces. Unfortunately, sometime love is just not enough.
And sometimes too, we don't realize how important a person is in our lives till he is gone. His death - all alone in a Moscow apartment, probably by asthma, undiscovered for days - sent ripples of pain through my family. My mom, who never did completely forgive nor forget the one affair Walter had, the event that ruptured their tempestuous relationship, wept hard for the lost of this adopted and then abandoned son. Wept hard at the loneliness of his death. I wept because he had parents who hurt him more than they loved him, because he died a sad, lonely man. He never did get his second chance at happiness. For that, I grief for him.
The last time conversation I had with him was brief. Walter had called on Grace's birthday to wish her happy birthday. But Grace was not to be reached and I had taken his message. I was brief and perfunctory. Walter asked about how I was and how baby was. I answered they are well, but I did not ask how he was. Not really.
Now I wish I did. I wish I cared enough to show love and concern. I didn't know that I cared. We didn't know that we cared. Now, today, I wonder too late what he had for his last meal. Did he enjoy it? Did he have his shots of espresso that day? Did he smoke a cigarette? Did he have a good laugh that day? Was it sunny in Moscow the day he died? What was on his mind? Was he afraid in the last moments of his life? Grace told me that he told her that he is afraid that he will die alone and that no one would know for days. Was he thinking about that when he went down? I wish somebody was there to alleviate any pain or fear he might have had. I wish there was somebody there to love him dearly and wisely.
Funny thing is I don't even know him all that well. I mean really know and understand and not just about the food he loves (fish ball noodle soup). I guess I never did lend him my ears. I do know that "Tropic Thunder" would have given him the stitches - that's the kind of movie he liked.
The last movie we watched together was "Anchorman." He loved it. We laughed so hard together. That was when we were all in Beijing, back in December 2004. I was visiting and so was he. We congregated in Grace's apartment. That was the second last time I spent any time with him. The last time was back in 2005, when he came to San Diego with Grace. He wanted very much to come to our wedding, but never made it because he was too tied up with the business. I remember that he was very sad that he couldn't make it. I was family to him and he wanted to come. I remember that I did not miss him and that I thought it was good for Grace that he couldn't make it. I felt that - and the family felt that - there was no way Grace can ever have a relationship if the ex is also hovering about. I regret so much now that I did not urge him to come no matter what. I regret now that I never did email him a picture of Zoe even though he always asked about Zoe whenever he called. He even called me after he heard about my eye surgery.
Now that he is gone, we know the measure of the love we have for him. The saddest part of this is that he never knew. He did not have the succor of knowing. But that's because we too did not know till now.
And sometimes too, we don't realize how important a person is in our lives till he is gone. His death - all alone in a Moscow apartment, probably by asthma, undiscovered for days - sent ripples of pain through my family. My mom, who never did completely forgive nor forget the one affair Walter had, the event that ruptured their tempestuous relationship, wept hard for the lost of this adopted and then abandoned son. Wept hard at the loneliness of his death. I wept because he had parents who hurt him more than they loved him, because he died a sad, lonely man. He never did get his second chance at happiness. For that, I grief for him.
The last time conversation I had with him was brief. Walter had called on Grace's birthday to wish her happy birthday. But Grace was not to be reached and I had taken his message. I was brief and perfunctory. Walter asked about how I was and how baby was. I answered they are well, but I did not ask how he was. Not really.
Now I wish I did. I wish I cared enough to show love and concern. I didn't know that I cared. We didn't know that we cared. Now, today, I wonder too late what he had for his last meal. Did he enjoy it? Did he have his shots of espresso that day? Did he smoke a cigarette? Did he have a good laugh that day? Was it sunny in Moscow the day he died? What was on his mind? Was he afraid in the last moments of his life? Grace told me that he told her that he is afraid that he will die alone and that no one would know for days. Was he thinking about that when he went down? I wish somebody was there to alleviate any pain or fear he might have had. I wish there was somebody there to love him dearly and wisely.
Funny thing is I don't even know him all that well. I mean really know and understand and not just about the food he loves (fish ball noodle soup). I guess I never did lend him my ears. I do know that "Tropic Thunder" would have given him the stitches - that's the kind of movie he liked.
The last movie we watched together was "Anchorman." He loved it. We laughed so hard together. That was when we were all in Beijing, back in December 2004. I was visiting and so was he. We congregated in Grace's apartment. That was the second last time I spent any time with him. The last time was back in 2005, when he came to San Diego with Grace. He wanted very much to come to our wedding, but never made it because he was too tied up with the business. I remember that he was very sad that he couldn't make it. I was family to him and he wanted to come. I remember that I did not miss him and that I thought it was good for Grace that he couldn't make it. I felt that - and the family felt that - there was no way Grace can ever have a relationship if the ex is also hovering about. I regret so much now that I did not urge him to come no matter what. I regret now that I never did email him a picture of Zoe even though he always asked about Zoe whenever he called. He even called me after he heard about my eye surgery.
Now that he is gone, we know the measure of the love we have for him. The saddest part of this is that he never knew. He did not have the succor of knowing. But that's because we too did not know till now.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Kiss Kiss
We took this video about a week ago but I have been too busy to post it here. Anyhow, we love this video. It shows Zoe kissing her stuff toy. These days, when we say "Zoe kiss kiss ...." instead of kissing the toy herself, she hands the toy she is clutching to us to kiss! Incidentally, Zoe has learned the "Ooooooo" part of Boynton's Snuggle Puppy. Whenever we get to the "Ooooo" part of the book, Zoe would coo "Oooooo!"
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Zoe's New Tricks
Zoe's Spoken Vocabulary: "There" (in English), "This" (in Mandarin), "Book" (in English), Papa, Mama, "want" (in Mandarin); "No" (In Mandarin), "Carry Me" (in Mandarin)
Zoe's Also Understands: "Nose," (in Mandarin) "Turn the page?" (in Mandarin), "Drink Milk?" (in Mandarin), "Eat" (In Mandarin), "Do you want?" (In Mandarin); "Give me" (In Mandarin)
Zoe's Also Understands: "Nose," (in Mandarin) "Turn the page?" (in Mandarin), "Drink Milk?" (in Mandarin), "Eat" (In Mandarin), "Do you want?" (In Mandarin); "Give me" (In Mandarin)
17 lbs 2 oz!!!!!
Zoe finally hit the 17 lbs mark! Surpassed it by 2 oz even! This is a big deal for us because Zoe was, for the longest time, stuck on the 16 lbs mark. This concerned us a bit, but we went into a state of high alert after her pediatrician became concerned about Zoe's weight gain, or lack there of. Dr. Tsoulos explained that Zoe would probably never be really big, but her gaining only 3 oz in three months isn't a good sign. He had us schedule for a follow up visit for a weight check, and recommended that we up her calories as much as possible in the meanwhile, which is what we did. I'm not sure if it is because we did something right or because, as we were told, baby's weight gain can slow down and then pick up again. But we are happy about it nevertheless.
Incidentally, I'm back on dairy now. Zoe too has been introduced to dairy in the form of yogurt. We thought that Zoe was allergic to cow's milk protein. Either she outgrew it or because she never was, the blood test showed that she's ok with it now. We started her on yogurt some two weeks ago. She loves the yogurt.
Food Zoe Can Have Now:
Apricot
Avocado
Banana
Basil
Butternut Squash
Chicken
Corn
Garlic
Green Beans
Mung Beans
Oatmeal
Papaya
Pasta
Peach
Pine Nuts
Potato
Prunes
Red Pepper
Rice (Brown and White)
Salmon
Sweet Potato
Tahini
Winter Squash
Yogurt
Food that is probably ok but still under observation (i.e was introduced recently or not in big enough quantity yet to know for sure):
Barley
Blueberry
Mango
Plum
Food on hold because of suspected allergy (though not proven completely unsafe):
Apple
Beef
Flaxseed Oil
Lentil
Food that I look forward to introducing to baby in the next few weeks:
Broccoli
Egg York (highly recommended, but is known to be a high probability allergenic food too. Egg white is not recommended till after one year old)
Spinach
Incidentally, I'm back on dairy now. Zoe too has been introduced to dairy in the form of yogurt. We thought that Zoe was allergic to cow's milk protein. Either she outgrew it or because she never was, the blood test showed that she's ok with it now. We started her on yogurt some two weeks ago. She loves the yogurt.
Food Zoe Can Have Now:
Apricot
Avocado
Banana
Basil
Butternut Squash
Chicken
Corn
Garlic
Green Beans
Mung Beans
Oatmeal
Papaya
Pasta
Peach
Pine Nuts
Potato
Prunes
Red Pepper
Rice (Brown and White)
Salmon
Sweet Potato
Tahini
Winter Squash
Yogurt
Food that is probably ok but still under observation (i.e was introduced recently or not in big enough quantity yet to know for sure):
Barley
Blueberry
Mango
Plum
Food on hold because of suspected allergy (though not proven completely unsafe):
Apple
Beef
Flaxseed Oil
Lentil
Food that I look forward to introducing to baby in the next few weeks:
Broccoli
Egg York (highly recommended, but is known to be a high probability allergenic food too. Egg white is not recommended till after one year old)
Spinach
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