2010 plans

I am usually not much for making New Year's Resolution(s). Probably because I haven't been good about keeping any that I made, probably because I never did make any that was truly meaningful or important enough to really make an effort to keep (think: loose five pounds). But this year, I'd like to make a clean break from my past resolutions  (or lack thereof) and resolve to make a list and keep at them. In short, my resolution is more along the lines of a "five year plan" than the typical New Year's resolution. This way, I can, at the same time next year, look back and do some accounting of my year and see if I have been successful at my plans. Without further ado, my plans:

1. Attain at least one successful, productive vegetable garden bed.
2. Plan and ready our garden for permaculture.
3. Work out a “community garden/playgroup” plan for our garden.
4. Reduce our family’s emission and consumption according to the seven categories listed in Riot for Austerity (http://www.riot4austerity.org/blog/7-categories/). Riot for Austerity aims for 90%. My goal is 30% for our first year. And to perhaps bring it up to 90% over three years. More to come along this new emission reduction adventure.

The impetus of the plans - aka vision in corporate parlance - is to get us towards greater self sufficiency. By self sufficiency, I mean less dependence on the vast infrastructure that we rely on for our most elemental needs: food and water. This is for ourselves, for Zoe, and all the children in the world. We implemented some lifestyle changes in 2009 - reducing our water usage drastically for example. But our progress is often times one step forward two steps back. Our gasoline usage is fantastically high this year because of the months of house hunting, followed by all the times I had to drive over to the new house during the remodeling process, not to mention all the trips I made while researching products and vendors for the remodeling. We made less road trips, however, because we had no time. Hopefully, things settle down next year.

Blue

The new house has new paint, and we couldn't be more pleased, especially with Zoe's room. Zoe seems pretty happy too, as evidenced by these photos. As is often the case when photographing Zoe, these pics aren't in focus; she was too busy being busy.

Cookies and shoes

Dennis and I are now speculating if the love of shoes is innate. I took out the various shoes I've bought for Zoe over  time, shoes I've picked up when they are on sale (and thus affording me some the excuse of "she'll need it eventually, I'm saving money by buying now). Her feet are still too small for them. But her reaction was quite incredible. There was this palpable pleasure in seeing them. She uttered this sound that sounded like a half giggle and half laugh and reached down to handle them. As much as I love shoes, I haven't indulged in this love of late and so I can't see how and where Zoe picked up this behavior. Must be innate.

Also, this afternoon, I picked up a box of Belgian Chocolate Biscuits from Trader Joe's. When I opened them, there was that gasp of pleasure from Zoe too. She was so awed by the array of cookies lying in front of her. Luckily for us, she was content with just one (even though we told her she could have up to three).

Progress

Slowly but surely

I haven't had the time to keep the blog updated for a while now. I've been so busy with the house. By evening, if I have any time and energy left, I'm either updating the books, writing checks for services rendered, reviewing the work schedule calendar, or researching products. Most of the time, I'm only capable of stumbling into bed.

But slowly but surely, our house is coming along. The last week has been particularly trying because of some permit issue I ran into with the building department (I won't bother going into details lest my blood pressure rise again and I start to weep). It was all very vexing but, happily, it is all mostly resolved. I think the issue was simply that they didn't like dealing with homeowners and wanted me to schlep in a contractor for them to deal with. And that is exactly what I did in the end, because I have to concede that I don't understand the process enough - or even the language they speak - to deal with it efficiently. Anyhow, I can almost see the light at the end of this remodeling tunnel: the windows are in and stucco repair should probably be all done by next Monday or Tuesday. The painters come in next Monday and kitchen installation begins Wednesday. I've pushed back the flooring installation because our bathroom tile guy is behind and because I have yet to secure my bathroom cabinet. Ah well.



(Incidentally, for unknown reasons, I can't seem to post pictures anymore to blogger - a real bummer - Dennis is helping me post a picture of the house I took yesterday. It shows our new windows).

News, news and news!

Zoe is going to be a flower girl! Grace is engaged to Larry! To be married Jan 23, 2010! I guess it is true about how when you meet the right one, it goes fast! I am thrilled for Grace. It is going to be a whole new adventure for her!

I want...

This actually transpired this afternoon:

Zoe wakes up and declares that she wants a snack.

Dennis: Ok, we have this lovely banana.
Zoe: No, thank you!
Dennis and I (Delighted by her polite and super cute response): Well, how about some yogurt?
Zoe: No, I don't want yogurt.
Dennis and I: Well, what do you want?
Zoe (all the while looking towards the pantry where the cookies are kept): eh.... eh....I want... I feel like... eh....

How did she learn to speak so well? I have no idea. But she amazes us with the things she says.

More Music

City Farmers Market has an old, beat-up piano; it's out of tune, some of the keys stick, and other keys don't make a sound at all.

Zoe loves to play on it.

At the 1:32 mark of the following video, Zoe notices a cobweb above the piano keys, which prompts her to give a performance of "The Itsy Bitsy Spider."

Music

Zoe shakes the maraca, plays her pipe, and dances.


Zoe plays the harmonica. She claims, "I'm making jazz, papa!"

Birthday Party

New Zoe photos!

We went to the birthday party of our friends' son Sebastian, who turned two. Zoe had a great time. She was the smallest child there, and was a little wary of the big boys, but she watched them with great fascination. She also had a lot of fun activities to keep her occupied.

Here, she does a little arts 'n' crafts. I love her focus.


She rode a rocking horse, which was a little different for her. (At home, she has a rocking sheep.)


She played with Sebastian's toys, gravitating toward the toy piano and the trains.


Zoe's no longer a baby! She's becoming a little girl.

Progress

The kitchen was only 10 x 11 in size and, with the false ceiling overhead, felt a little crammed for space. Our solution was to remove part of the wall that used to separate the dining room and the kitchen. The actual kitchen space wouldn't be bigger - it would be about the same as we intend to borrow a bit of space from the family living room - but we would have more room to move about and when guests visit, they can easily congregate at the dining table and still be within sight and conversation of the cooks in the kitchen space.  The kitchen and dining space though now almost completely open to one another has a "header" to provide a sense of separation (i.e I thought to not remove the wall entirely from floor to ceiling).

It looks a mess right now, but I can see the potential!

New Security Feature

We've been wanting to improve the security of our blog to protect Zoe (and us). By security I mean making our pictures useless to others for copying, and that means reducing the size of the pictures we post here. We expect the only audience of our blog to be the grandparents and close families and friends (who else would care to read our prattle?), but who knows? There's been some press about parents who discovered that the pictures they posted of their children having been usurped for other less savory purposes.

This picture here is a trial run of the new system.

New Home - Soon to Be

I have been so busy I haven't had the time to record here the latest - and very big - event in our lives: we bought a house. We closed more than a week ago now (on Oct 7, to be exact), but we are still immensely overjoyed by it. Getting here was such a long journey - we (or I) saw more than 147 houses, and there were moments I despaired of ever finding a house we can imagine as home and that we can afford. Some of our friends told us of the nervousness they felt the day they signed the loan documents. We felt simply excitement and joy. Hopefully not because we are too stupid like a pair of eloping teenagers to realize the responsibility of what we are getting into.

But I do think we are aware, and yet we want this responsibility of being a homeowner, even if it means a true adieu to our former carefree lives - a life where it is easy to pick up and just go as the spirit pleases. Now we have a mortgage to pay, a house to take care of, on top of being parents to Zoe. But this house will be our nest. The mise en scene of our daily lives and Zoe's memories. We looked for a property with a place to garden. We will have just about 0.2 acre to garden and I can't wait.

But wait we will have to do. There is so much we have to do for the house before we can move in. It turns out that we bought a fixer upper! I didn't think so until Jeannie pointed it out, after I rattled off all the things we need to do before we can move in: asbestos remediation (done), mold remediation (done), drywall replacement (lots gutted because of the mold remediation), re-texture the ceiling (because of the asbestos removal), new windows (because the existing windows are more than 30 years old, single pane and leaking in water that caused the mold), new flooring (because all the old flooring had to be removed), new kitchen and bathroom (because parts of it were ripped out to correct the mold issue). We also need to get new fascia boards and sidings that were damaged by termites... and new gutters. I guess it is a fixer upper but not at fixer upper price!

Still, we love our soon to be new home already. You can see our progress here:

Removing a tree that is too close to the house :


Mold remediation in progress:


The view we fell in love with (and that is now somewhat compromised because the neighbor next door put up a fence recently. Ah well):

Experiencing

Zoe has learned to smile for the camera, except that, because she puts so much effort into smiling, the effect is more or less a squint. It's still cute, but I think I'll stop saying "smile" whenever I try to take a picture of her. Her natural smile is so much sweeter.

Today, we attended the last of the gardening classes we signed up with Victory Gardens San Diego. I'm not sure we know a whole lot more than before we started, but it has been fun and I think the point is to continue learning as we do the actual gardening. Showing Zoe around the gardens, I felt great happiness for her. It took me 37 years to get to this point: seeing what a broccoli, cauliflower, kale, chard plant look like (and not just a vegetable to buy from the grocery store). And here is Zoe, learning and experiencing it at two years old.

Talk about experiencing, we went to La Milpa Organica again this evening. La Milpa holds a potluck at their farm every third Saturday of the month. We made it today. And I'm so glad we did. Though we didn't do any "gardening" this time, Zoe got to see a goat getting milked. I think her favorite part is the clambering up and down their play structure. On our part, we enjoyed the ambiance. It was very - how should I say - very reminiscent of the college town vibe. With the band and all the good cheer about, it was also very festive and happy.

Weekend

We had a busy weekend. Started with gardening class on Saturday - Zoe encountered caterpillars.



She ate a whole banana on her own for the first time too.



On Sunday we went to a birthday party. Zoe enjoyed the playground.



Zoe thought the party favors were the best thing ever.

Zoe Sayings

Zoe's vocabulary and linguistic ability has grown to the point where we have a hard time recording down all the surprising things she says. But here, I'll try to remember the more memorable ones:

Scene 1: At the Playground. Zoe wants to attempt coming down a very large, spiral slide, one that is intended for much older children. Mommy watches her make her way towards the slide, and decides to dissuade Zoe.

Mama: Zoe, don't you think this slide is too big for you?
Zoe: No.
Mama (not sure if she should just let Zoe try it, wavers): Hmm, it looks too big. It is a big person slide.
Zoe (quoting Seuss, the line we use when we want her to eat say a fruit): "Try it, try it, you may like it you will see!"

Mama decides to let Zoe try the slide. Luckily for both, Zoe decides last minute, after a close examination of the ride she is about to embark on, that it is "too big!" and backs off.

Other phrases Zoe has picked up and uses with great pleasure:
1. That's good enough (used when say I am pouring out milk for her)
2. Perfect (used when say I correctly interpreted her wish for cookies)
3. Go on (used when say she wants more)

Currently, Zoe is fascinated by armpits. Just the other day, we were in Barnes and Noble and she spotted one of her other interest: Octopus. Peering into a picture of a giant octopus, she pointed to the squiggly arms and correctly identified them as "tentacles!" Then, because I said "yes, tentacles are the arms of the octopus," she looked at it again and then pointed to where the tentacles linked up and said jubilantly "arm pit!" Then... the punchline.... "this armpit no hair!"

Gardening

Jackie and I are taking a gardening class with Victory Gardens. So far Jackie has been to two classes, and I attended my first one this morning. We're enjoying it, and we're especially happy that we're allowed to bring Zoe along. Zoe for her part seems very game -- she has her own little rake that we brought from home, and she's not afraid to use it.


This morning, she found a little empty snail shell in the soil bed.


This morning's lesson was on irrigation. Zoe had fun playing with the different pipe and tubing pieces that were distributed to the class.

Cruising

Yeah, we know these things are filthy. But Zoe wanted to ride in one so badly that we finally relented.

Lily Margaret

Zoe is intrigued by babies. In this video, Zoe hovers around our friends' newborn, Lily, and gives her a couple pecks on the cheek.

Dancing Queen

I'm so pleased that Zoe loves music and dancing; I think that love of music and dance speaks well of the soul. And Zoe takes after her papa in terms of eclectic tastes -- so far she seems to enjoy classical, jazz, and pop! Dave Brubeck is a current favorite.

In this video, Zoe is dancing to Bruce Springsteen's album "We Shall Overcome." Her dancing partner is a new puppy (stuffed animal, of course) that Zoe's daycare nanny gave to her. Sadly, Zoe has proven to be quite fickle with her affections for her stuffed animals. She's already dropped teddy bear and Henrietta the monkey like a bad habit.

"...research shows that the interactions between genes and rearing, between parents and children, are far more complex that either of those views suggest. Children shape their parents as much as parents shape their children — nature and nurture interact in unpredictable non-linear ways." - Alison Gopnik in discussing the controversy over the book "The Lost Child," where the author chronicled her son's drug addiction. (See http://roomfordebate.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/31/the-memoir-and-childrens-privacy/)

Not getting into the discussion of the controversy, Gopnik's statement struck a cord with me. Zoe has shaped us in so many ways. Instincts we did not know existed has taken root and bloomed, as if we were the seeds and Zoe the soil and water that brought out our parental essence. The love we have for her.... we had no concept. Did we know that we would be so vigilant about her security? Could we have predicted the visceral way we would react to news like Jaycee Lee Dugard? Now, any story about a hurt child brings tears to my eyes. She has changed us in more mundane ways too: we are less prodigal in the way we use our resources because we are concerned about the world we are leaving behind for her and her friends.

We shape Zoe too of course. I like to think that she has a ready laugh because of us.

"Baby No Problem!"

So tired now, but must record this down before I forget. This morning, Zoe woke up on the wrong side of the bed. She was cranky, whinny and all in all bad society. While getting breakfast ready for her, she started to fall apart. Being somewhat shorter on patience than usual myself, I carried her to her room, set her down, gave her her security blanket and told her sternly that she can very well feel cross but she can act it out in her room and to come out only when she is done with being cranky. I think she didn't like being in her room all by herself with no audience. She came toddling out soon after. Knowing that she was in the puppy house with me, she went to Dennis and declared, "baby, no problem!" Quite naturally, we all had a great laugh over it.

The Big Day, Part 1

We're still recovering from Zoe's busy birthday weekend. We'll post photos soon, but in the meantime here's a video of "Happy Birthday to You."

Firsts

One day, a long time from now, Zoe can boast that she had her first coffee even before she turned two. A couple of days ago, Aug 27 to be specific, Zoe stole a sip (or sips) from my "doppio over ice in a grande cup with two packs of raw sugar and a good splash of half and half." She has, heretofore, never shown any interest in drinking my coffee and so I never thought much about leaving my coffee on the coffee table. Imagine my surprise when I came back into the room to find Zoe leaning over the table and sipping coffee through the green straw. The little girl liked the drink. She threw a big fit when I said she can't drink that and took it away from her.

And talk about firsts, Zoe received her first flower (from a man) on her second birthday. It was a rose from Uncle Paul.

Pictures taken over this summer

Sea World

I should have posted this much earlier. We brought our Sea World pass a little over a week ago. So far, we have visited three times. Zoe is fascinated by the Mantatees, the Walrus, the whales and the dolphins.

La Milpa Organica

The three squash that Marguerite gave us for our "weeding" effort.

Zoe and I visited La Milpa Organica Farm this morning. I learned about La Milpa last week by pure serendipity - I was reading some stranger's blog and link following link, I stumbled upon La Milpa. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that it was in our own backyard, but five miles north of us! Because it sounded just so wonderful, and because it seemed like they take volunteers and because I am immensely interested in vegetable gardening, I looked forward to visiting it.

I'm glad I did. Zoe did too, I'm sure.

Coming into the farm, we met a very kind young man - Raul - who gave Zoe and I a little walking tour of the farm. Then, after I expressed my interest in vegetable gardening and how I know nearly nothing about it, he introduced me to the owner and a few other people about. Then, he handed me some tools, showed me a bed that needed weeding and trusted Zoe and I to do it. Imagine that!

For an hour, while I dug and prodded the soil for the long, green weeds, Zoe played about me. Sometimes she helped, other times she mimicked what I was doing, except that the weeds had nothing to fear from her. We were not in want of company. In the time that we were there, we met Emily, Marguerite, and Marabel. Emily is young, and no more than twenty-five. She translated for me what Marguerite had to say about squash blossoms. When Emily took off, conversation eased off between Marguerite and I because her English is just as limited as my Spanish is. Still, it was very convivial. This was the classic commune I read about. Happy workers who live off the land, interesting houses with interesting artwork about, welcoming to people and children all alike.

It certainly lifted my spirits! It is not just the working (since it was really minimal). Seeing all that green, row after orderly row of growing, healthy green was very satisfying and centering. It made me think of Isak Dinesen description of her coffee farm:

"In the wildness and irregularity of the country, a piece of land laid out and planted according to rule, looked very well. Later on, when I few in Africa, and became familiar with the appearance of my farm from the air, I was filled with admiration for my coffee-plantation, that lay quite bright green in the grey-green land, and I realized how keenly the human mind yearns for geometrical figures. All the country round Nairobi, particularly to the North of the town, is laid out in a similar way, and here lives a people, who are constantly thinking and talking of planting, pruning or picking coffee, and who lie at night and meditate upon improvements to their coffee-factories."

I can't wait to go back there.

Sorely Disappointed

In our house hunting journey, I've reached that part where I think it more a trial than a journey. We have seen - or I should say I have seen - more than a hundred houses now and yet our first matrimonial home elude us. Not that we haven't seen anything that we like. We have put in two bids unsuccessfully. One of them for a house that we both loved (thus far the only one that is so out of the hundred and more that we have seen). The unsuccessful bids rankled because we could have them. Why didn't we go as far as we could have? Then, recently, we had to contend with diminishing supply and increasing prices. I fretted that we lost our chance to buy a good house in a location that we want and that is affordable to our means. Then, last week, lo and behold, I saw two houses that have great potential. Unfortunately, they weren't perfect. Dennis didn't love one of them (the one I could envision Zoe playing happily in the garden). The other meant a much longer commute for Dennis. But the price - the price!!! - was so good. I guess so good that both houses received bids and accepted them within two days.

I feel tremendously vexed by all this. I have managed to allay my nesting instinct for a while now. These days, they are out in hot fury. I'm going to vent right here: I want our house NOW!!!

Oh So Excited

Zoe doesn't know that her birthday is coming soon. But we do and we are - or I should say I am in particular - very excited about it. Two years!!! I lived every day of the last two years and yet, except for the fact that I have this little bundle of energy and personality as evidence for it, I find it hard to believe that we have been parents for just about two years now. It is just so fun now too, now that Zoe's ability to communicate with us has reached that point where she can mostly tell us what she wants and what fascinates her. It is so fun to to watch her catch on, see, process and adapt for herself new knowledge everyday.

And I enjoy the little moments we have. Yesterday, when we were at Kate Sessions Park, we strolled down the hill hand in hand. Zoe was clearly enjoying the view, as I was. And she was thrilled too to be holding my hand, as shown by the beaming wide smile she had on her face. With her other free hand, she pointed to things she saw. "Ocean!" "Boat!" And I thought, "ah, memory, serve me well, let me remember this moment years from now, when I am old and she is grown. Let the memory of this wash over me so that I may feel the happiness of it again and again."

Talk about happiness, we hope the gift we have for Zoe - a very large dollhouse - would bring her lots of happiness (and any hours of entertainment). It arrived two weeks ago to much anticipation. Dennis assembled it that very evening and it is taking a lot of will power for me to not show it to her. But I mustn't spoil her birthday surprise must I?

Oh, so excited!!

Skills

Zoe is constantly expanding her skill set. In this video, you may be catching a glimpse of a future women's soccer star:



Here, we see the next Julia Child:

Lavender

Two Videos

Jackie reads "The Snowy Day" to Zoe.



Zoe encounters ladybugs.

Big Bear Camping

Zoe has grown! She used to be so small relative to the baby carrier. Now, when we load her in, her feet touch the ground.



Zoe looks cool in her sunglasses. She finally accepts us putting them on her.





Zoe plays in front of our tent at the Hanna Flats Campground.



Matching Crocs on Jackie and Zoe. This photo was taken first thing in the morning, so Zoe was a little crabby.

Ladybugs!

All the things I have to say!

Zoe's language skills is growing in leaps and bounds. It's not just her vocabulary that is growing. Somehow or other, she's figuring out grammatical construction too. For example, she responded to my question of "which one do you want" with "I want that one." She didn't say "Baby want that" or "Linghui want that." She used the pronoun "I." I was impressed.

I think she delights in expressing herself too. For example, she spat out a mouthful of corn earlier this evening at dinner. She looked down and declared, as if I was the one who made the mess, "Why did you do that?!?" Then, still looking down, she confessed "I made a mess!"

Soon after, she asked for ice cream. We told her she had to wait. Her response? "10 minutes!!"

"Why did you do that?"

The most ordinary thing coming from Zoe's mouth can sound like the cutest thing on earth. Case in point: yesterday, I walked into the new Learning Tower (it is still new and I still haven't learned its various protuberances). I yelped. Dennis said all concerned, "why did you do that?" Zoe hearing it, repeated after Dennis, "Mama, why did you do that?? Why did you do that?" But of course, she didn't just say those words. Her whole body leaned forward as if she expected a good explanation.

Thinking about Education

As I have mentioned previously, I think about Zoe's education a lot. It is not just about researching schools and school districts we may end up with or desire (that, I do), but about the education of Zoe as a person. And it is not just about things like learning the alphabets and math, things in the realm of knowledge that is usually learned in the classroom context. Rather, I think about how we would help Zoe fulfill her potential, how we would cultivate her to become a "whole" person, how we would impart knowledge without tedium, how we would let her curiosity lead the way. Taking her outdoors, spending time in silly play, my plan to learn vegetable gardening and then imparting that to Zoe... all of it somehow fits my idea of creating for Zoe an idyllic childhood, where her moral compass is set, and ways of thinking and knowledge seeking is established.

The nice thing about the proliferation of blogs is that one does not have to think alone. I found other like minded parents who are walking the same path or who have walked the path. Here, tonight, I found through a blog Ron Miller's writings. Apparently, Ron Miller is a leading figure in "holistic education." I quote at length his explanation of holistic education here because I agree with it completely.

"Simply stated, holistic education is an effort to cultivate the development of the whole human being. Where conventional schooling views the child as a passive receiver of information and rules, or at most as a computer-like processor of information, a holistic approach recognizes that to become full person, a growing child needs to develop—in addition to intellectual skills—physical, psychological, emotional, interpersonal, moral and spiritual potentials. The child is not merely a future citizen or employee in training, but an intricate and delicate web of vital forces and environmental influences.

Ultimately, holistic education reflects a spiritual rather than a mechanistic worldview; it recognizes that in the growth of every child, some mysterious life force is unfolding and seeking expression. This force might be understood in religious or quasi-religious terms, as in Waldorf education, or it can be seen in a more naturalistic sense, as a biological urge—a worldview that makes sense to many progressive and democratic educators. In any case, a holistic approach to education respects this life force and seeks to nourish it. Clearly this worldview is very closely aligned with the impulse behind organic agriculture, natural medicine, ecological awareness, and other areas of the emerging “green” society.

A holistic education is usually characterized by several core qualities. First, it encourages experiential learning. There is more discussion, questioning, experimentation, and active engagement in a holistic learning environment, and a noticeable absence of grading, testing, labeling, and comparing. Learning is more meaningful and relevant to students—it matters to their lives. Second, personal relationships are considered to be as important as academic subject matter. These learning environments strive to cultivate a sense of community and belonging, and qualities of safety, respect, caring, and even love. Third, there is concern for the interior life, for the feelings, aspirations, ideas and questions that each student brings to the learning process. Education is no longer viewed as the transmission of information; instead it is a journey inward as well as outward into the world. Fourth, holistic education expresses an ecological consciousness; it recognizes that everything in the world exists in context, in relationship to inclusive communities. This involves a deep respect for the integrity of the biosphere, if not a sense of reverence for nature. It is a worldview that embraces diversity, both natural and cultural. Holistic education shuns ideology, categorization, and fixed answers, and instead appreciates the flowing interrelatedness of all life."

http://www.pathsoflearning.org/holistic_New_Culture_New_Education.php

Busy Days

Somehow it doesn't feel like there is enough time in a day to do all that I want to do and need to do. What do I want to do, need to do?

1. Keep house tidy and generally clean (i.e. clean dishes, keep up with laundry, organize Zoe's toys, make the bed if I get around to it, sort through and discard mail - that is a real battle, I tell you).

2. Find a job I would enjoy. This is sometimes very time consuming and sometimes not. Mostly, it involves my trawling through the internet for job postings, checking out the companies, see if it is worth sending out an application. Most days, job searching means learning about skills I need or need to update and taking steps to do so.

3. Work on the garden outside. Grow a vegetable garden. This has thus far been more a mental than physical task, a wish along the lines of wishful thinking because my soul is greener than my thumb. But I'm resolved to start somewhere soon (or start again since I did start a compost), which means I am again doing a lot of reading about gardening and will soon be running to the nurseries for supplies.

4. House hunting. This is sometimes all consuming. I reckon that on average this takes up two hours of my day. I look at the property listings everyday. I study the maps. I study school districts.... then on some days, we spend hours schlepping from house to house.

5. Reading and thinking about how we would like raise Zoe. Sure, we don't have to and I don't do this everyday. Hardly. And parents before us have raised their kids without help of books or too much conscious examination. But I like to understand what Zoe is going through developmentally. Sometimes books I read "for Zoe" is really "inspired by Zoe." For example, I picked up Handbook of Nature so that I may be able to observe and learn more about nature with Zoe.

6. Be in the now with Zoe and Dennis. That is, spend time together playing, talking, reading, doing things of interest to one another.

7. Plan and cook three meals.

8. Be more active in our financial planning. This, alas, is something we know we ought to do but never seem to do.

So you see, there is not a whole lot of time in the day for all that. What I really would like to do now is take a long, afternoon nap.

Busy Bee

It's been a busy weekend for Zoe.

On Saturday morning, we hosted her playgroup. We had a huge inflatable bouncy castle set up in the backyard. Zoe and the kids loved it.



Zoe talking! I don't know what she's saying, but it sounds really important and profound.



Zoe down at the beach in La Jolla:



Zoe says hi to a dog ("woah-woah") at Starbucks in La Jolla Village.



Zoe shows off her piano skills.

Art Imitating Life

On some days, this is Zoe.

On other days, this is Zoe.

Crafty

I've come to the realization that my daughter is shockingly crafty, and that I need to watch her very closely, as her nascent cunning seems to know no bounds.

Case in point: this evening during storytime, Zoe abruptly got up from my lap and proclaimed loudly that she was "all done read." She then proceeded to toddle toward the door. When I asked her where she was going, Zoe froze in her tracks, then turned slowly to me, emitting a barely audible whine. When she was once again facing me, she had a comically pained expression on her face as she reiterated that she was "all done read" and then declared in Mandarin that she wanted to play outside.

Struggling to suppress a laugh, I told her very patiently that playtime was over and that it was time for bed.

Zoe whined a bit louder.

What was especially funny was that during this whole battle of wills, Zoe was actually slowly backing her way to the door. I was too amused to give chase, so as I sat there on the floor with the forgotten storybook in my lap, she kept creeping, creeping, creeping, never taking her gaze off me, until finally she was just an unruly mop of hair and two little eyes peeking at me from around the doorframe.

Children's Museum

Once a month, the Children's Museum in downtown San Diego has a "Free Sunday." We dropped by this morning to give Zoe a dose of arts, crafts, and lots of other kids and their parents.

Here's a video of Zoe at the clay table. Zoe seemed a bit confounded by clay, so most of the objects that you see were fashioned by me and Jackie. Zoe did, however, seem to have clear ideas of what she wanted us to make for her ("house!" "snowman!").



Zoe at the chalk station. I love it when she does her little duck pout.






Zoe at the bubble station. She loves bubbles, but was having a hard time making them herself (to be fair, even I wasn't doing too well with the materials they had on hand). Zoe mostly succeeded in getting detergent on her hands and lips ("UH-oh!!!").

"I'll sit right here!"

Well here it is, Zoe has finally picked up enough linguistically to arrive at that age where all parents look forward to. I'm talking of course about that age where they say the cutest thing. Yesterday, midway through our usual bedtime ritual of book reading, Zoe decided she would not sit at her usual position (on our laps). She got up and moved a few feet away. We said, "hey Zoe, where are you going to? Don't you want to read this book?" Guess what the little rascal said? She said, "I'll sit right here!"

I think she was very proud of herself, of the little independence she exhibited and the fact that she managed to express herself so well.

Dancing and Painting

Last week we took a Hornblower cruise on San Diego harbor -- it's basically Happy Hour on a boat. Zoe and I enjoyed a father-daughter dance on the lower deck.



Jackie got Zoe started on watercolors. Here you can see the artist hard at work.

Discovery

So... we decided to play the Sound of Music. And we skipped forward to the Lonely Goatherd. Zoe was scarily focused on it. Then, came the declaration, "Muppet!" She figured it out. She lonely goatherd and characters are all puppets!

Introducing Zoe to Watercolors

Painting, Busy Painting!!

Painting is hard work!!

As if by the beating of my heart

Of late, I've been thinking that I take a lot of things for granted. I take for granted the fact that clean water flows out of the tap at home when I care to turn it on. I take for granted the food that I eat, the air that I breathe. Though I try not to use it, I have control over my immediate climate because we have these wonderfully powerful heaters and air-conditioners. In short, I take for granted all the elemental things in life. This is not to say that I don't appreciate what I have and enjoy, it is just that sometimes, I live by it unaware, "as if by the beating of my heart."

And that is perhaps why any action - by society at large and by policy makers - towards curbing global warming is going to be so hard. We know how lucky we are, but yet, we live by it unaware. We appreciate it, yet we don't cherish it. I've been so lucky. But how much longer will this luck last? How long before I experience what most citizens of planet earth experience, namely the necessity to fight for daily survival?

This worries me because I would like Zoe to enjoy all that I've enjoyed. And because I would like all the children in this world to enjoy what I've enjoyed too. And it appears that the chances are slimmer by the day. Would we know to make the right choices individually and collectively?

***

I remember the time, on a trip to Nepal, because I assumed water to be always free of muck, all my lovely Marks and Spencer undies were tainted a dirty yellow color the first time I hand washed them there. Then, after getting used to showering in yellow water, how I was surprised by the gleaning clean water that flowed out of the tap when I got home to Singapore.

I remember running out of water on a hike and the thirst I felt in the last, few hot desert miles.

I remember how people of my mom's generation were still so thrifty with their water use, even after it was no longer necessary. The "aunties," because they lived through having to line up to get their daily rationed bucket of water in town (for the whole family), would shower using just a bucket of water. They poured the water onto themselves with the help of a ladle.

***

I'm So Excited!

Zoe spent her first official day at daycare today. Well, it is really 1/2 day since we arrived at 9 in the morning and I picked her up at noon again. It went unbelievably well. She was interested in the circle time (where the children gather in a circle and sing songs), she did not cry when I left (granted, she was quite distracted when I left and may not have noticed my "mama will come back to get you later, play with the kids for now."). And - contrary to expectations - she didn't cry the entire time she was there. According to the teacher, she made friends and had fun playing with the other kids. She also noted that the other kids were curious about her and were very friendly to Zoe. In short, Zoe had a good time. I am thrilled, thrilled, thrilled!!! Our little girl's little steps into the world. She even kissed Zhu Zhu Ahyi when we were leaving and waved goodbye to all the other kids.

Big Steps

So... not sure if I told anyone about this, but I've been thinking about going back to work. It was a lot more idle thinking than action for the longest time. But because Zoe is approaching the age where she would benefit from the socialization afforded by either a day care or preschool environment (i.e. she has reached the stage where spending all day with me is no longer the best possible environment for her), and because I fret that the longer I stay out the more irrelevant my prior experience and atrophied my working muscles would be, I've started spending more time examining the work I would like to do, the companies who are hiring, and the companies I would love to work for.

To make a long story short. I identified a company I think I would love to work for. I was admiring it from afar when lo and behold, they have an opening. It is an unpaid temporary position (pooey), but if I get to learn something (and I think there will be a lot to learn) and perhaps even make a great enough impression to be thought of first the next time they have a paid opening, why not? Dennis and I discussed it and we think we can manage the extra expense of child care for now. (So wonderful to have such a supportive husband). So I applied. Most incredibly, they called me back. For an interview.

Anyhow, as happy as I was about it, I saw that I would have to find Zoe a preschool or childcare center in short order. This time, I was not in too much of a panic about it as I already interviewed and visited a place I thought would be alright if it came down to it. But because I was not confident that that is the optimal place for Zoe in terms of the kind of stimulation she would get, plus I didn't like the 1 adult to 6 little toddlers ratio of the home (what if there is a fire? how would she get everyone out?), I spent Thursday night calling all the places I can find online and then planned to visit as many as I could on Friday.

I'll make the story short. I found the place where I can leave Zoe at and be confident that she would be well taken care of and be happy in. Many aspects of it won me over, beginning with the fact that it is Chinese run. They speak mainly Chinese to the children and so it would help Zoe learn Chinese. Then, even though it is situated in a house, it feels like a cozy little school. The owner dedicated the entire ground floor of the house to the children. The living room is the school room. The family living room is the play room. And there's lots of backyard space for the kids to play in. The walls are decorated with learning charts and posters. There's even an upright piano for the music time. The adult to toddler/preschooler ratio is about 1 to 3 (Aside fron the owner, there is an assistant, as well as the owner's mother and mother-in-law). She is licensed to take 12, but she has 9 at the moment. I also liked that the meals are prepared by the grandma and that whatever she was cooking smelled delicious when I was there. The vibe is right. I think happy is the word.

Most importantly, Zoe seemed to have liked the kids who were there too. Unlike the other places that I visited, Zoe responded to the kids at this place. I think Zoe liked especially that there is a cat and dog on the premise too. (Funny how things work. Normally, pets would be a negative to me because of possible allergens concern. But Zoe was so thrilled to see the cat, I forgave it almost immediately). It was so charming when all the kids ran to say hi to the little dog locked beyond the fence. By the time Zoe and I left in the afternoon, Zoe was calling this boy by his name (Sebastian) and the referring to the cat's name (Mimi) and saying byebye to "Zhu Zhu Ahyi." (Zhu Zhu is the name of the owner and Ah yi means auntie).

Ah, Zoe is exiting that part of childhood where her whole world is just mama and papa. And I am exiting - well hopefully exiting - that part of my life as a stay-at-home-mom. I pray that the transition would be smooth. We are so lucky to have had the time together. I'm so glad we didn't end up putting Zoe in child care at four or six months of age, that we had this time to bond, to spend together. There will be less and less of that in the future.

Wish List

I have been thinking about the sort of things I would like Zoe to have and making a list. It is not entirely one of my making. I've been observing the sort of toys Zoe gravitate towards in the store and seem to really love. Then, there's the ones we read are important to her developmentally. We won't be getting her the stuff on the list at one time, since we need to be more thrifty than usual. But more importantly, because there are some important lessons in having to wait, having desires that are unfulfilled. Scarcity builds character. Of course, I am telling that to myself too, to restraint my instinct to simply acquire everything that seems to interest Zoe. Zoe just have to wait for her birthdays and Christmases to come around.
List:
- A proper dollhouse (Zoe loves doll houses. She really enjoys the pretend play)
- A tricycle (not sure if she would love it, but she is very interested in seeing other kids ride theirs)
- Woodblocks (http://thevillageblocksmith.com/ because I think it would be cool. Zoe doesn't know this exist yet)
- A doll and pram (She loves the baby dolls at Gepetto's. She cuddles them and pretends to feed and bath them. But this is lower in priority, since I believe that she can easily make Teddy Bear do double duty as baby doll).
- Sand and water table
- Musical instruments like triangle and drums