"...research shows that the interactions between genes and rearing, between parents and children, are far more complex that either of those views suggest. Children shape their parents as much as parents shape their children — nature and nurture interact in unpredictable non-linear ways." - Alison Gopnik in discussing the controversy over the book "The Lost Child," where the author chronicled her son's drug addiction. (See http://roomfordebate.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/31/the-memoir-and-childrens-privacy/)

Not getting into the discussion of the controversy, Gopnik's statement struck a cord with me. Zoe has shaped us in so many ways. Instincts we did not know existed has taken root and bloomed, as if we were the seeds and Zoe the soil and water that brought out our parental essence. The love we have for her.... we had no concept. Did we know that we would be so vigilant about her security? Could we have predicted the visceral way we would react to news like Jaycee Lee Dugard? Now, any story about a hurt child brings tears to my eyes. She has changed us in more mundane ways too: we are less prodigal in the way we use our resources because we are concerned about the world we are leaving behind for her and her friends.

We shape Zoe too of course. I like to think that she has a ready laugh because of us.